To Give Everything You've Got

Wow, it seems like the starting horn gets louder every time! Ugh, ok now it's time to run. Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy. You're going too fast. Slow down. This hill is hard, don't let it wear down your legs. Run slowly. Well that's a little too slow there. There we go, that's a good pace, keep it going.

Hmm, I've never been on this course before. This part looked flat from the bus, but it's actually kind of hilly. Who knew? It's okay, we train on hills all the time. Just stay towards the front of the pack, they'll know what they're doing, right?

Okay, left around the chapel. Keep this pace. This pace is perfect. Every cross country race I go faster than this pace, I end up dying on the last mile. They say "no pain, no gain" but I don't even gain everything when I die at the end, other than a bad time to add to my mental wall of shame.

What's that lake to the left there? Maybe it's a pond. Hmm, interesting. I heard something about a rabbit pond at this place. I don't see any rabbits though. I doubt they have rabbits here, they certainly don't up in Exeter.

And we're into the sanctuary. Man, these woods are nothing like New York City. In New York City, it's just buildings and sidewalks. I swear, there are more trees in these woods than there are in my entire city.

Seriously, I'm crossing a reservoir? What is this, a cross country course or a hiking trail? Gosh, this looks like the place I was backpacking last summer. I mean there's even a giant hill here now. This is where I gotta push. I gotta increase my lead on the rest of the pack now. They can't run hills like I can. Hell, I was backpacking with my dad in Northern Canada all summer.

The log cabin! The cabin is truly my favorite part of the race. It reminds me of my grandparents' home. Sure, it wasn't a log cabin, but a small little house outside of New York City where they fed us chicken and mashed potatoes and brownies. Mmm, I could go for some brownies right now. No, stop thinking about brownies, you have a race to run. You're still in like fifth place, you should be picking up the pace now. We already passed the mile mark, you don't even have two more to run. Let's go, pick it up.

Ahh, downhill. So much more relaxing. It's ironic, isn't it? That we call downhill relaxing? Everywhere else in life, downhill is a negative. When my dad's hedge fund went downhill last summer, he was miserable. And yet, I always associate the word "downhill" with relief. It truly makes no sense.

Downhill. That was the direction my life turned the day after my seventh birthday. Grandpa didn't see that truck coming. He was behind the wheel, Grammy in the passenger seat, and bam, the truck rammed into the front of them. They were both taken into the hospital. It seemed like every bone in their frail bodies was shattered to pieces. Neither one of them could breathe. It was terrible. Grammy didn't make it. But Grandpa was a fighter. Grandpa went deep into his heart and found the will to survive. "I couldn't leave you alone," he said. "I couldn't leave you without any real family." The two of us left their home and moved to a small apartment in the Bronx. I never left there until I came to Andover. I didn't want to leave Grandpa all alone. But Grandpa had three words for me. "Make me proud." Whenever he says it, I can't let him down.

Damn, an uphill! Again? Wow, good thing my lead is so massive then. Really good thing, because ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. My legs. I literally have never been in so much pain. This is not fun. I need someone in front of me to motivate me. Seriously, my whole life, I have never had someone in front of me. It really sucks being a legacy student. I can't make my own name, I can't become anything. When the guy who led the race the whole time wins, nobody cares. They just shrug and say, "yeah, we saw it coming." It's when the guy in the back sprints all the way to the front and wins it when the crowd starts cheering. I thought I could make my own name by running, something my father never attempted. But everyone still just assumes I have private coaches at home telling me what to do. And I do, but a coach can't teach work ethic. They can't teach determination. Sure, my dad's hedge fund may do well once in a while, but I asked him to hire a coach for me. Because I want to win. I want to win at something once and for all where people can't just go say, "Yeah, well he's a legacy, he's probably not even that good, he just paid his way there." You can't pay for a win in a cross country meet. You just can't.

Is that that Exeter dude up there? It's gotta be, blonde hair, red shirt. Wow, I'm in second! That's awesome. He's got a bit of a lead though, so I have to stay with him. I have to stay with him. Stay with him. Stay with him. It's only like a hundred-meter gap now, but he looks like he's hurting. He knows nothing about pain. You wanna know pain? Pain is watching your Grammy open and close her eyes for the last time ever, feeling her hand go limp in your hand. Pain is hearing your Grandpa tell you "make me proud" when all you want to do is stay by his side. Pain is knowing that the only way you have a slight chance of paying for college is if you can get a cross country full scholarship, and pain is knowing that the only way you're gonna get that scholarship is if you win this race, right here, right now. You must win this race. You must. Your entire career depends on it.

I hear breathing. It's right behind me. Who is that? Oh my god, it's an Andover runner! I gotta push. 600 meters to go. Push up this last little hill. The lactic acid is there. I feel it. This pain is unimaginable. This pain is definitely worse than anything anyone could ever experience. Ow.

He's right in front of you. He's right there. All you have to do is pass him. Come on. Pick up the pace.

He's right behind you. He can hear your short breaths. You can hear his. You have got to push. Shake him off. Shake him off. Ooo ooo ooo. Damn, why did I get that song stuck in my head? Forget it. Get away from him. You can push.

He's trying to get away. You can't let him. You are the best sprinter on your team. This is where you need to shine. Make Grandpa proud. Make yourself proud.

I might not be able to pay for a win here. But I can pay. I can pay in the steps I take, the air I breathe, the arms I flail. I can pay by pushing my body even harder to get to that finish line. That is all it takes. Come on, push. Push.

Make Grandpa proud. Make Grandpa proud.

You are not your dad. You are you. Show these people that you are you.

Brownies. Mashed potatoes. You can eat all the brownies and mashed potatoes you want once you cross that finish line. It is right there. Push! Push!

He's right next to me! Come on, I have to get away. Find something left in the tank. There's got to be something there!

Pain is not something everyone can push through. Pushing through pain is learned. You can't pay someone to teach it to you. You experience something painful, and you push through it. By doing that, you become stronger. I can push through this pain because I push through pain every day. And I will push through pain right here right now.

10 meters to go. Five meters to go. LEAN!

I dove across the line. It's not the right thing to do, but I gave it everything I had. And that's all I can do. Honestly, it doesn't matter who wins or who loses as long as I give it everything I've got. My team will be proud, whether I get first or second. The colleges will see my time and know if I am worthy. Sometimes in races, we have to lie to ourselves. We have to tell ourselves things that might not be true just to convince ourselves to push harder. That is the only way a good time will come. You learn to do that when you run cross country. You learn to lie, cheat, and scam yourself. Because in doing that, you become the best athlete you can be.

Is Grendel's Mother a Good Mother?

While Grendel's mother may not have great morals, it is still completely reasonable to argue that she is a good mother. When her son was murdered by Beowulf, she took action by coming to steal Grendel's arm and later choosing to fight Beowulf herself. By doing these things, she shows how much she cares for her son. After seeing an undefinable monster like Grendel get annihilated by Beowulf, many would be terrified of Beowulf. It is crazy to think that someone would think they could beat Beowulf in a fight after he ripped the arm of a monster who terrorized an entire land to the point of eating human flesh for quite some time. Even though Grendel's mother is an impressive warrior herself, she does not seem like much compared to the accomplishments of Beowulf. This perception could be because of the sheer amount Beowulf has bragged about his power and credentials through the poem, but it also seems like everything Beowulf has declared about his self is true. A mother choosing to ignore the amazing feats that Beowulf has accomplished to gain vengeance for her son shows true love, which is one of the primary traits that a good mother should have.

I want to add that this prompt made me think about the Christopher Nolan movie Memento, where Leonard Shelby, the main character, spends the entire movie trying to find and murder the killer of his wife. With Leonard having a memory condition where he cannot create new short-term memories, it is nearly impossible for him to even consider completing this feat, but he still tries to do it. Why? Because he loved his wife so much that vengeance is more important than anything else. One could even argue that it is not worth it to live anymore without getting vengeance. Grendel's mother seems to be making this choice between gaining vengeance or not living at all. Since the poem was written before Christianity and the concept of heaven was likely not as fleshed out, this decision most likely had higher consequences than it would to someone in the era that the story was written, assuming he/she was a faithful Christian and believed that he/she would be saved.

For these reasons among others, Grendel's mother was certainly a good mother.

Heroes: Javon Francis

Any long sprinter would agree that the 400 meter dash is one of the hardest events on the track. While a world class sprinter can complete the one-lap race in under 45 seconds, the pain that one feels in the second half of the race is simply unmatchable. As a 400 runner myself, I must cope with and push through this pain all the time, giving me just a taste of what the elite sprinters must experience. When I think of the best 400 runners in the world, the name Javon Francis leaps into my head as a true long sprint hero.

While just twenty years old, Javon Francis is arguably on the cusp of becoming one of the greatest 400 runners in history. A Jamaican-born sprinter, Francis ran track at Calabar High School, and in 2014, he shattered the previous 400m Jamaican high school record by over a third of a second, which dated back all the way to Usain Bolt in 2003. What might be more impressive is that in 2013, when Francis was only eighteen years old, he anchored the Jamaican national team's 4x400m relay at the World Championships in Moscow, and took the team from 5th place to 2nd during his leg. In 2015, he took the team from 5th to 2nd yet again during the IAAF World Relays heats, and then ran the fastest relay split out of every athlete at World Championships this year in Moscow, running a 43.52 second lap. For anyone unclear of how fast that is, note that only five people in history have ever run the 400m dash in under 43.52 seconds and only one non-American.

These statistics are probably meaningless to non-track fans, but their significance is important to me. Time and time again, Javon Francis runs 4x400 anchor legs that will go down in history for many years to come. In the World Relays race, Francis was in 4th before the last 100 meters, around ten meters behind the leaders. Jamaica needed 2nd place to qualify for the final. Remember now that at 100 meters to go, athletes' legs hurt the most. Lactic acid is at its highest, form starts to break down, and many athletes just have nothing left to try to finish the race, let alone catch other runners. With that being said, Javon Francis picks himself up, lifts up his knees, and powers down the home straight, passing who was then the African record holder Isaac Makwala to get Jamaica the 2nd place they needed to move on to the final. Every race I have run after that, I arrive at the 300m mark and start telling myself "Javon Francis activate," hoping that my legs can find that incredible burst of energy that he has found on countless occasions.

In the 2015 World Championships, Francis took the baton in 4th place, quite a ways behind Lashawn Merritt in 1st, who happened to be the 400m silver medalist this year. While Merritt's credentials may intimidate some, they did not intimidate Javon Francis. He stormed into 1st place by 150 meters into the race, and began opening the gap wider and wider. The three runners initially in front of him ended up catching up, but that race was more than just who got medals and who didn't. The way Francis attacked the beginning of that run showed courage, courage that I rarely see in athletes. Running from far back all the way to the front of the pack is intimidating, and Francis just went for it anyways. I hope that I can bring myself to be this courageous when I run.

A final thought about Javon Francis is his team mentality. Francis is not famous because he never performs extremely well on the individual 400m. His best races are when he is anchoring the 4x400 for the Jamaica national team. Seeing athletes who run their best in relays is so admirable because it shows that they care more for their country's performance than their own. I share this philosophy in that I would much rather see my team win the relay than run a personal record on my own. Having an athlete like Javon Francis that I can look up to in this regard is amazing, and I can't wait to see what impressive feats he pulls off in the next decade of his career.